a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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