make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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