New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
