After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize