YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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