i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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