I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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