we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
