I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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