I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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