I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
