question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize