He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
