how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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