My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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