the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
