I love black thongs
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
two words...techno handjob
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
