just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
