i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize