Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize