He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
