so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
