just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize