You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
