So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
