I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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