Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
