i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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