yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
