I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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