How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
