Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
