In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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