question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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