I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
