Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
