Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
