Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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