Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
