I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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