We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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