I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
