we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
