i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
