Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
