HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
no, he came in my armpit
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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