It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
