"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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