Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
