oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
