Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
