I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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