dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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