I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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