Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
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