The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
