Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
