she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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