Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
