I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize