singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
A bitchslap is in order.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
