So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
