I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
