Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
