Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
